Moments of Love with Mary
– The Spiritual Letter Box –
I am 22 years old and my future looks truly bright. I know a nice young man who is talking of marriage within the next few months. He has fine qualities and my parents think highly of him. His family likes me and seems to be in favor of our marrying.
He has a profession which brings him an excellent salary, and in addition, his father is well off financially, so we can look forward to a future free of material worries.
However, there is always a little cloud in the brightest sky. I have to tell you that my friend comes from a large family. For my part, I have only a brother. Now, my friend being the first to marry, all the talk I hear about is the children we are going to have. They can’t wait for them… the parents, to be grandparents and the children, to be uncles and aunts! They could at least give us time to catch our breath. I know that my friend adores children; but as for me…
Since at home I have always heard my mother say that she had had enough with two children and that she would not want to start again, I can assure you that I am not too kindly disposed to hear all this talk about kids.
The idea of maternity frightens me so much that there are times when I think of putting off our engagement. Yet, my future mother-in-law seems perfectly happy to have had a whole string of them, and the children all seem to love one another.
I don’t dare talk of my fears to my mother because she has never been overly interested in my problems. She is too taken with social life to be concerned about me or my brother whom I see only two or three times a year since he lives in another country.
I love my friend too much to want to disappoint him, and since we will be living not far from my in-laws, I don’t want to be the cause of ridicule in the family. Sometimes I have the thought of refusing, and yet, I too would like to know happiness. How should I approach this problem, since I do want to get married, in spite of it all?
Since you desire happiness you would certainly want to try to rid yourself of those prejudices against maternity; prejudices which in your mind have taken on undue proportions because you have not had the opportunity to study all the joys that can flow from it.
Our finest poets have never been able adequately to depict the indescribable joy that fills the young mother when at last she can embrace the “little angel” so impatiently awaited. Only a true mother can know this sweetness, but she cannot describe it. After all, what are a few months of waiting compared to the marvelous joy of possessing this little being who asks only to be allowed to love us. The arrival of a child in the home cements the union of two hearts and becomes the sweetest of bonds. If maternity directs souls towards new horizons, the formation of a brand new soul allows one to experience the grandeur, the profundity and the beauty of the giving of self. It is in this that lies true happiness; all else is but sham and appearance.
You are fortunate to be admitted into a united family, in which one can savor the joys of family life. You are very fortunate to know a young man who has experienced all these charms, for he will be fully capable of assuming the responsibilities of fatherhood when his turn comes.
This does not mean that you have to have children by the dozen. But since you seek happiness, accept it as it is presented to you, for you are really well provided for.
This event of conception leads the woman to the very threshold of the Christian mystery. It is in her that is carried on the formation of a new being which requires the love of God, for He will create a new soul and entrust it to the parents.
This ineffable collaboration radiates throughout the whole of life and its repercussions are eternal. The wife who understands this sublime role becomes quickly centered in a spirit of faith and gratitude, and she stands in awe before this spiritual amplitude.
How sublime and grand it is to be a mother! And how one must sympathize with those who cannot achieve this fulfillment and bitterly weep in impotence!
(Review, “L’Armée de Marie”, volume III, no. 5)