Letters to Young Girls

Dear Friend,

The bell rings. It means the next class begins in 4 minutes. The students rush, as does Mathilda, especially since she has to stop at her locker before making her way up to second floor. In front of her, a boy, his eyes riveted to his telephone screen, walks among the crowd of students without paying much attention to where he’s going. So, it’s not surprising then that he should run into a girl, hitting her hard, as he rounds the corner in the hallway.

Under the shock, the adolescent drops her binder and her school books. As it falls, the binder’s rings open, spreading several sheets on the floor. The boy barely apologizes, and without really stopping, goes on his way. The others, also in a hurry, go around the student, left to herself, and carry on to their classes. That is the way it is, for in the break between classes, everyone is in a hurry because being late could mean that one receives a warning or is penalized.

Mathilda witnessed the entire scene. She doesn’t know this girl, but she quickly understands with her heart that this incident has taken her unawares at an already stressful time and it delays her so that she is a little stunned. So Mathilda spontaneously stops to help her, asking her if she hurt herself. Squatting down, she tries to gather some of her things and helps put the sheets back in the binder. Then, both girls are off to their own classrooms. Mathilda arrives just in time as the teacher is about to close the door.

A French philosopher said: “The person who is kind has three eyes: he has two of them plus the one of the heart, the third eye that is in the middle.” (Emmanuel Jaffelin, TED) A kind person can make such a difference in the day of his fellowmen! Have you not already experienced the benefits of a spontaneous helping hand, generously offered in a time of need, or an encouraging and understanding word, or someone’s kind attention?

In adolescence, school can become a hard milieu and it isn’t rare to witness there real meanness. Peer pressure is exerted on the group in which everyone wants to be accepted. Jealousy, hurtful words, violence, scornful attitudes and intimidation seem to temporarily give strength to those who are trying to carve out a place for themselves, become “cool” and popular with the others. However, these attitudes adopted by certain young people are so opposed to kindness.

Unfortunately, we must admit that sometimes we too can act in a way that isn’t very loving! However, you must be really convinced that it isn’t by showing contempt or being a bit mean in our remarks or our behavior that we will build our happiness and that we leave a positive influence with a view to doing good.

Kindness is a matter of being attentive to others, of showing understanding towards what they are experiencing and of wanting to do them good. It is important to accustom ourselves to looking at the persons around us with the eye of the heart, by remaining attentive to their well-being, their needs and their feelings. By turning away from ourselves in order to look towards the others, we are preparing a path for ourselves along which joys and moments of happiness will blossom.

So, we encourage you to sow love with kindness, to multiply those little acts of love around you.

But be careful! If we are all able to make spontaneous acts of kindness demanding little effort, being kind can also require that, sometimes, we have to work hard on ourselves.

As soon as Mathilda sits down at her desk, the teacher announces she is returning the graded assignment in which Mathilda put a lot of effort. She hastens to look at the grade she obtained. Disappointment! It isn’t as high as she had hoped. It isn’t bad but…

The girl next to her is jubilant: 95%! Mathilda’s heart tightens, perhaps because she has a bit of a tendency to be envious, which prompts her sometimes to belittle the others when she has the impression they are more successful than her and, in her heart, she refuses to accept this. However, kindness triumphs and she says to her: “Wow! Bravo! Congratulations! I know you worked hard to get that grade!” Obviously, her words make her classmate feel good because her efforts are being acknowledged.

Mathilda has her faults and she is not perfect, but she is nevertheless very kind. What do you think, should we give her 100%?

The Daughters of Mary